Rise As The Whole Damn Fire

“Your story isn’t really that unique.” “What’s the big deal? Everybody gets divorced.” “You’re just another person being dramatic on social media.” “Can’t you just move on like every other normal person?” “What makes you think you’re so special?” “So you made a few changes this year. You act like you won the Olympics or something.” “Just exactly WHO do you think you are?” These are voices IN MY OWN HEAD. Voices that tell me I am an imposter. That my message doesn’t matter. That my story is not worth being told. That my gifts are not important. Fuck that voice. It is the same voice mirrored in abusive verbal assaults of the past. Sometimes, it’s still mirrored in the voices around me today. No amount of emails or messages telling me the impact I have made makes the voices go away. They still persist. And sometimes they get to me. It’s when I give in to something bigger than me, that those voices just don’t matter. I can feel insecure. I can feel like an imposter. But when I just allow the inspiration to take me, I become something powerful. I become completely captivated and consumed by a force that uses me as a catalyst for a much bigger purpose than I could dream up. What I have found is that sometimes, the point is not ridding ourselves of insecurities, fears, and “the imposter syndrome”. Often, the answer is to continue in spite of - to just do it anyway. To DEFY the voices. And somehow, when you move forward no matter the resistance, they get quieter. They become weak and harmless. I have discovered that my biggest ripples and the deepest impacts I have made require me to RISE THE FUCK UP and UNAPOLOGETICALLY walk through the feelings, the fears, the criticism, and the never ending opinions. Hear the voices. Feel the voices. And rise as the whole damn fire.

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