SUFFERING does not equal LOVE.
“Everyone else is a fucking POSER. I care about you for REAL.”
“I won’t be like everyone else who has abandoned you.”
We have often confused our willingness to suffer, for love.
We have often confused our unconditional loyalty, for love.
We have often confused our tenacious self betrayal, for love.
Somewhere along the way, we have learned people who REALLY love you will SUFFER for you. We have learned that people who REALLY love you, will put up with your abusiveness and irresponsible decisions.
But is that really love?
Does that ACTUALLY honor ANYONE?
I used to believe I needed to suffer in order to prove my REAL love.
Today, I believe what harms me, harms everyone.
When I thought I was being really loyal and suffering at the hands of someone else’s disrespectful behavior, I was actually robbing the person I loved from the natural consequences and accountability that was trying to redirect them to more loving treatment of themselves and others. My robbing them of their accountability and consequences was NOT loving. It was NOT kind. It was NOT helpful or healing. My tolerating was literally BLOCKING the pain necessary to catalyze their healing.
When I thought I was being some sort of EXCEPTION that was more loving and loyal than everyone else, I was actually HINDERING the very consequences and change that could SERVE them best.
We get to heal the wounded belief that loving someone else requires us to suffer and tolerate harm and abuse of any kind. It’s a big fucking lie.
Goddess, what honors you, honors everyone.