"Yes" or "No?"
There is a lot of confusion about the power of the word "No" and the word "Yes."
I often hear people talk about using the word "no" and how that is supremely important, then, I will hear someone else exclaiming the importance of saying "yes!"
So, what the hell is it???
Here's what works for me:
Before I started my journey through my codependency and compassion fatigue, I rarely used the word "no." I was constantly resentful, felt used and taken advantage of, and was SO DAMN TIRED.
I was very driven to be the “good” girl –
The good employee.
The good friend.
The good girlfriend.
The good daughter.
The good citizen.
And I was.
Well, all those “goods” were exhausting. And those “good” roles I played didn’t allow me to say “no” when I needed my own space, my own energy, and my own time.
Believe me, I wanted to say "Yes" to so many things! I wanted to have fun, I wanted to enjoy my hobbies, I wanted to enjoy my friendships, I wanted to build a successful career, I wanted to live PASSIONATELY. I found myself resenting everyone else because THEY were holding me back!
I was the only one holding me back.
I alone was in charge of protecting my own space and time and I had fallen asleep at the wheel. I had abandoned my own needs and my own self-care. This is where the use of the word "no" is ABSOLUTELY FUNDAMENTAL.
The only person I needed to stop abandoning was ME.
Once I was able to use the word "no" to protect my being and to honor my own needs, THEN it was important to implement my "yes's!"
My "no" created the space to say "YES" to ME. My life. My joy. My relationships. My passion. My success.
They are a team. A "yes" cannot exist without a "no."
For me, intentionally saying “yes” includes self-exploration and understanding of my own needs, regular vision work and goal setting, and a constant decision to be courageous and vulnerable. When I say “yes,” it is not out of guilt or obligation. It is out of courage to follow my own path without compromise.
So, in short, say “yes” and “no” more often! ;-)
What are you failing to say "no" to so you can say "yes" to your own life? I want to hear about it in the comments below!
Jillian Landis is a Self-Care and Worthiness Coach at Evolve Personal Coaching, blogger, and writer for Nourish + Bloom. Jillian's passion is encouraging big hearted individuals to extend a little of their love to themselves, so they may serve this world at their greatest potential. Prior to coaching, Jillian served in the mental health profession for 10 years and has a vast knowledge of human behavior, which she utilizes to create effective change in the lives of her clients.