Unapologetic Conversations

December 24, 2019

A client once asked me what the difference was between a boundary and an ultimatum.
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I replied: “Nothing. Boundaries are ultimatums we get to enforce when our values are violated.”
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Boundaries are the conditions you create for anyone to be in your space. They are deman...

December 23, 2019

I used to have a habit of not really asking that much.

Not being too inconvenient.

Not being too demanding.

Not ever needing that much.

Not ever being in the way.

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“Oh, you’re going to the store? In that case, could you pick up _______? Only if you’re going for you though.”

...

December 23, 2019

The gift that doesn’t really feel like a gift…

The gift I have ignored, suppressed, and shoved away from me.

The gift I have many times just WISHED would GO AWAY.

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Resentment.

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The twisting of my stomach, when someone wants something from me for the thousandth time.

The pan...

December 23, 2019

It is truly amazing to me the number of ways we have learned to suppress our feelings and then convince ourselves it is the right thing to do.

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Anger

Resentment

Sadness

Boredom

Fear

Frustration

Annoyance

Loneliness

Pain

Tiredness

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I have heard every imaginable way these feelings...

December 23, 2019

Some people will spend a thousand dollars to spend a few hours with me, others wouldn’t choose to hang out with me for free.
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I used to accept whoever ended up in my space, constantly trying to impress and please. I hoped for everyone’s respect and approval and worked...

December 23, 2019

“What if I set this boundary and it costs my loved one their life?”

“What if I set this boundary and it costs me my own life?”

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These seem like extreme questions but I have learned they are very real. They are questions that have come up in others around me and myself ov...

December 6, 2019

This past week was heavy.
 

I was reminded of trauma. I was reminded of oppression. I was reminded of being silenced. I was reminded of injustice and double standards and entitlement.
 

For so long, I have shrugged it off. Downplayed. Minimized.
 

It’s not so bad.
I allow...

December 6, 2019

Deprivation and I go way back.

I used to think this was discipline.

I used to think this was strength.


I could weaponize it in every format imaginable.



Cutting out certain foods or amounts of food.

Eliminating any spending on myself.

Limiting sleep.

Avoiding...

December 6, 2019

“Your story isn’t really that unique.”

“What’s the big deal? Everybody gets divorced.”

“You’re just another person being dramatic on social media.”

“Can’t you just move on like every other normal person?”

“What makes you think you’re so special?”

“So you made a fe...

December 6, 2019

Trauma is such a funny thing. As soon as you think you’re through it, it’s just getting started.



I’ve gained so much momentum this year. I feel powerful. I feel centered. I feel grounded. I have kicked some serious ass and have OWNED this last year.



And.



Somet...

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Patterns of Abuse

December 6, 2019

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